Dancing to Her Own Beat
By Jesse Angelino and Holli Galloway, New York H&V
Our family is celebrating our daughter Gwen’s remarkable journey as a Deaf individual. Born without cochlear nerves, Gwen’s deafness was a discovery that changed our lives. However, instead of viewing it as a limitation, we choose to celebrate her unique perspective and abilities.
Jesse notes that his family are very loud New Yorkers. He was raised to be very audible. When we noticed that Gwen was not reacting to this fact the way other children about her age did (at about a year old), it got us wondering. Around Halloween time, I would run into a room yelling to try to give her a fright when her back was turned, but she did not react in the slightest. That’s when my wife, Holli, and I decided to have her tested.
When she was born, nurses struggled with hearing screening equipment. They said she did not pass multiple attempts due to technical difficulties before receiving a reading that they deemed acceptable. When she was a year old, we went to an in-office pediatrician hearing screening, which she “failed.” Then came the ABR test, which she also didn’t pass. Next, Gwen had a CT scan to look at the structure of her ear, which came back abnormal. Then, the pediatrician ordered an MRI to try to find her cochlear nerve, which did not exist.
It was such a relieving and happy moment when we saw she would get to experience music.
Jesse notes that, for us, cochlear implants weren’t the right fit due to our daughter’s anatomical abnormalities. We didn’t want her to undergo unnecessary surgeries. She was not a good candidate for them with absent cochlear nerves. There’s nothing wrong with her being deaf, and we’ll support her choices regarding future medical decisions. Holli reacted to this news with similar feelings, saying that Gwen being deaf isn’t a problem that needs to be fixed. It is an attribute that she has that causes her to perceive the world differently.
By embracing American Sign Language (ASL) and Deaf culture, we feel that we have created a more inclusive environment that allows her to flourish. And flourish she has! Gwen has learned to communicate through sign language and has developed a sense of awareness and understanding that’s truly inspiring. Gwen’s grandparents are still in the process of learning ASL. Younger members of our extended families have taken ASL classes wherever available. We see the younger generations enjoying it most –it’s an exciting opportunity to learn something that Gwen needs and loves, but also something they can practice the rest of their lives.
Gwen has even somewhat jokingly discussed with her father the idea of using ASL as a way to communicate with extraterrestrials who might not understand spoken English one day.
Gwen’s skills in ASL are fortuitously timed in a preschool where other students arrive with fresh minds and readily attempt to understand her and learn how she is conveying her wants, needs, and feelings. Through her fluency in ASL, she maintains relationships with hearing children and conducts many activities with her classmates, with little to slow her down.
When asked how we became more fluent in ASL, we say, “Find your deaf community!” Social media is a wonderful start, and chances are, when you find one group, they can point you in the direction of more with different focuses and helpful resources. For us, we have a deeper connection to our child through ASL, so that’s what we focused on.
One of the most joyful moments to date for the family was when Gwen began dancing to music at a recent Hudson Winter Walk. She could feel the vibrations from the speakers during the 2024 Hudson Winter Walk. She began to dance. It was such a relieving and happy moment when we saw she would get to experience music. We realized that music is more than just sound–it’s feeling and connection.
Deaf Gain
We notice “Deaf gain,” too. Examples of Gwen’s enhanced senses have included noticing shifts in air pressure that signal upcoming changes in the current weather long before most around her notice. She can sense subway trains in the city even when out of sight and deep underground through vibrations in the tunnels below. While learning to speechread, she has gained an observational aptitude to pick up on individual mannerisms, tics, and tells displayed physically by different people in her life. She employs these in her signs when discussing these people close to her, bringing various personalities to life, much like an actress would do.
We are looking forward to Gwen’s future at the New York School of the Deaf where she will continue her education in both academics and her newly discovered culture alongside her parents.
By embracing Gwen’s deafness, we have created a more inclusive environment that allows her to thrive. As Gwen continues to grow and develop, we are committed to supporting her every step of the way. ~
H&V Communicator –Winter 2026