In a Perfect World
Between Brothers
By Dakota R. Seaver, Guest Columnist,
Rhetoric, PreLaw Student at Drake University
Having a deaf older brother shook up the dynamic of my otherwise typical familial structure. I am the middle child and I have a younger sister as well. In many ways, in fact in most ways, my siblings and I bear the hallmark birth-order qualities that you might expect of a three-child household. My brother, the eldest, has experienced everything first and in so doing, paved the way for my sister and I to judge what to expect from different life experiences. What I mean is that we can come to him for advice, be it relationship advice, considering job opportunities, or sage college wisdom, Dane has been there and done that.
Being the eldest has also made him the most outgoing and confident of the three of us, though I imagine my younger sister might have something to say on that point. He takes life head-on; I don’t think he’s had much choice.
My sister, as the youngest and only girl among us, fits the bill as the “baby” of the family. This is not to say that she has been coddled the most and I dare you to defy her will. My brother and I have always been very protective of her, as older brothers should be.
Then there is me smack in the middle of it all. I am the one who rolls with the punches, who fits into the action of the plot neither driving it nor weighing it down. I have been an outlet for my brother’s frustrations and the moral exemplar for my younger sister.
As I mentioned though, Dane’s deafness has altered the paradigm of what it typically means to have an older brother. While Dane has been the first of us to experience the world and bring home its lessons, sometimes his inability to communicate effectively and therefore understand everything going on around him has necessitated my role as an intermediary to help him navigate. Normally I think the eldest brother helps make sense of the world for his younger siblings, but with Dane I have always stepped up to help him make sense of it. In so doing, I think I have been compelled to mature faster than most; playing some roles for my siblings that would normally be reserved for the eldest while maintaining my position as the middle child.
Please don’t interpret this to mean that this has always been a burden or that I am resentful of this added responsibility. Quite the contrary, it has been one of the unique privileges of my life. Witnessing the struggles of a deaf person first hand and assisting with the communication hurdles that accompany them has given me a unique perspective on life. Helping my brother communicate has taught me communication skills and inspired me to become a rhetoric and communications major in college. It has showed me that no matter what the obstacle, perseverance and fortitude can overcome the challenge.
More than anything else, witnessing Dane grab the world by the horns in spite of all the challenges his deafness presents has inspired me. It motivates me to see that while there will always be something between you and your goals, there is nothing too big, nothing strong enough to overwhelm the indomitability of the human spirit. ~