Feeling Alive
By Megan Garrity, Maine H&V
Who am I? The things that make me, me? Take a moment and grab something to write down the words that flash forward in how you would describe your own identity. Now, let’s take the same strategy and consider how your child might describe themselves? What would be most important to them and what might you as a parent share with them? Most times, we adults complicate what is best kept simple. However, I would argue that identity is not black and white.
By definition, identity is a continuum of layers defined by qualities, beliefs, personality, or looks that can make a person or group. The question of “Who am I?” suddenly becomes far more complex when we look at this definition. But each of us, whether a parent, family member, or child (who will someday be an adult of their own) have identities.
Let me share a little about my own identity. My name is Megan Garrity and I am a Deaf adult. What is interesting about that statement is that I often will consider my audience in defining my identify with them. Sometimes, I share that I am a Hard of Hearing adult and at other times when choosing to self-identify as Deaf, someone may question if I am “deaf” enough. Identity is complicated. I would not describe myself as having thick skin but find this conversation is important to share with deaf and hard of hearing kids, along with their parents and families.
In the jungle of “identity”, how can we value its complexity and nourish it well?
Reminiscing about my childhood, I realized that the only people who shared using hearing aids were my grandparents. My grandparents wore hearing aids due to their age, and they remained my only reference of “who else”. Who else was like me? It wasn’t until about nine that I met other deaf and hard of hearing kids like myself at a weeklong overnight camp.
I can still remember the recreation buildings, the swimming pool, the cabins, and the mess hall for loud dance parties and yummy lunches. This summer camp became the highlight of my childhood. Being given the opportunity to meet others who were like myself was monumental for my self-esteem. Throughout our time together, the focus was spent on our shared likeness in our deafness. These moments solidified a place in my heart where I felt like my whole being felt on fire (in a good way)! I had a place to belong and there were others like me.
The takeaway from my message is that our identity is ever-evolving. Identity is messy, complex, honest, and a journey! A journey that needs nourishment in all stages in life, nourish your children and families (at any age) with knowledge, hope, and strength in helping them find their identity within this big, ol’ world. Encourage your kids to attend camps and getaways where they can meet other kids with hearing loss. Be the one to challenge them in exploring who they are in all areas of life, guide them in finding their talents and develop their identity in these moments.
There are many on this journey who are connected to hearing loss; we just need to find each other.
Erik Erikson stated, “In the social jungle of human existence, there is no feeling of being alive without a sense of identity.” Give your kids the chance to feel “on fire” and to be alive; let them find the beauty in their difference. There is much to gain on this journey. Thank you for allowing me to share mine. ~
Editor’s note: Garrity is the Deaf/HH Guide Coordinator and a Board member with Maine Hands & Voices.
H&V Communicator – Winter 2020