Looking Back and Looking Ahead: The Wisdom of Five Families
By Valerie Abbott, Virginia H&V
H&V Communicator – Fall 2018
A panel of five parents with five very different experiences and communication choices shared their perspectives on the joys and challenges of raising children who are deaf or hard-of-hearing at the annual Opening Doors-Unlocking Potential conference in Virginia in June 2018. The conference theme “Language, Literacy and the School-Home Connection” was geared towards educators and other professionals, as well as parents of children ready to explore the question: “How can we individually and collectively help to prepare students for success now and beyond high school?”
The day before, conference participants heard keynote speaker Janet DesGeorges, co-founder and executive director of Hands & Voices HQ, emphasize the importance of active and equal collaboration between parents and educators. The parent panel, representing children of different ages and communication/language modalities (Bilingual-Bicultural, Cued Speech, ASL, Simultaneous-Communication, Listening and Spoken Language) were invited to chime in on what has been most helpful to them and what will be beneficial as their children grow older. Below are a few of their key messages to parents and professionals:
Jacob Thornton stated that connecting with other families of children who are deaf has helped [he and his wife] make decisions and has reminded them to keep their focus on what’s best for their young children, both of whom are deaf. He highlighted that finding professionals who support different parts of what a family is trying to achieve is important.
Barry Bocaner shared that when communication between parents and professionals flows both directions constantly, things run more smoothly. He warned that “it’s easy to get complacent, especially when things are going well,” and that it is especially important to remember to include fathers, not just mothers. Dads want to be part of decision-making and finding solutions, too.
Ron Lanier had a unique perspective. He is an adult with hearing loss, a father of an adult son who is deaf and a grandfather of two grandchildren who are also deaf. Ron’s message was clear: Keep kids connected as often as possible so they can “see other deaf kids and other deaf adults out in the community doing their own thing.”
Carlie Smith also emphasized the importance of children who are deaf and hard-of-hearing spending time among similar peers at school and in the community so that they learn from an early age, “Being different is okay.” Carlie, who is also an educator, reminded the group that families who are familiar with the process of raising a child who is deaf or hard-of-hearing can be very helpful and that you can never meet enough of them.
Rachel Hockman reminded the audience that “our children learn from watching us.” She shared that educators are the most critical piece to academic success and that when teachers are engaged and on the same page with parents and students it can make the difference between an amazing school year and a tough one. Rachel also emphasized the importance of always remembering that parents and educators are partners in this journey.
One of the most profound messages this group of parents handed to the audience was that it takes a team of active, engaged and positive professionals who are willing to partner with parents that creates “the village” each child who is deaf or hard-of-hearing needs to succeed. Parents cannot do the important work alone. Professionals cannot do the important work alone. The type of relationship professionals make with families has a big, lasting impact. Proactively building the school-home connection is the foundation needed to ensure positive outcomes for each and every child with hearing loss. ~
Editor’s note: Valerie Abbott serves on the board of Virginia Hands & Voices and the 2018 Opening Doors Unlocking Potential Planning Committee, which thanks Janet DesGeorges and the panel of parents for unlocking the potential in each of us to better serve our children.