One Family’s Journey Enjoy the “Moy”
By Madeleine Daley, Illinois H&V
Not too long after Lincoln’s bilateral implants were activated, he uttered the most magical word: “Mama!” That moment was heartbreaking and breathtaking at the same time. All those months of front-loading language were paying off. He had been signing “mama” for months, but hearing him say “Mama” was the ultimate goal with listening and spoken language…and yet…it was only a word, so the bar was raised. It was the word that I have been wanting to hear since I found out I was pregnant and here it was. Such a bittersweet moment because my dream had come true and still I was hoping for more words.
As the parent of a deaf child who has chosen listening and spoken language for our primary mode of communication, I notice my increasing obsession with excellent articulation, to my poor guy’s chagrin. Though, I can only fault myself so much as I notice it is a trend among listening and spoken language DHH parents. I so rarely allow my son to have those adorable incorrect words that hearing children are often allowed. And why? Do I fear that his language will not progress though he is flourishing in communication every day? I muse that not only am I putting too much pressure on him to catch up, but that I’m stealing his babyhood in the process.
When Lincoln was younger, he would say “moy” when we he wanted more of something and we would chuckle and say: “More. Say more, please. Again. More. Good.” And yes, “moy” has disappeared from his language and still that has not been enough for me to relax. As soon as he made progress, I moved to another language goal without really celebrating the victory of “more” versus “moy,” but instead obsessed over another articulation error that will inevitably resolve itself.
My hearing cousin would say “houdies and hockeys” for shoes and socks when she was very young and her family found that very funny. So funny, in fact, that they say it to this day. It has become a family joke, which is so common in most families. My hearing cousin is now 40 years old and no longer says “houdies and hockeys” for shoes and socks, to my knowledge anyway, but the adorable story continues to be told. Similarly, will we laugh about Lincoln saying “draundry” when he talks about washing clothes many years from now? I would like to say yes, but we have set such high expectations for his language at such a young age that it may be hard to take a step back and appreciate the attempt instead of dwelling on the imperfect articulation.
It may seem like such an insignificant experience to correct his articulation especially since he will barely remember it, but I think it may be a more global issue that I am asking Lincoln to work even harder than he already is working for my immediate benefit.
He will often say to me: “Can I have a hoey Mommy?” when he would like a hug. Soon enough, his “g” will become more pronounced and he will no longer ask for a “hoey,” but a hug and hopefully that will remind me that he is just a little boy, who is trying so hard to communicate and that I should cherish these mistakes and stop looking for the next language goal and just embrace the “hoey.” ~